Mystery Science Theate 3000
Jack T. Chick's
Dark Dungeons
by: WebWarlock

Tom Servo  
  Mike, I'm confused.  
  Mike Nelson

Sure Tom. The twisted logic of Chick tracts do that. What can I help you with?


  Tom Servo
  Well it starts out in brightly lit room with some kids playing a good natured game, then we switch to a portrayal of witches rarely seen outside of Hollywood, and we end with Tom Skerritt burning books. So my question is. What was I supposed to learn?  

Crow comes in wearing a black cape and a black pointed witches hat.

  Crow T. Robot

Well I don't know about you, but Chick taught me witches rock.   We get to fight zombies, wear cool black clothes, cast real spells and hang out with Ms. Frost!


Mike Nelson  
  Witches aren't really like that at all, neither are D&D players.  

Tom Servo  

So we should be like Tom Skerritt and become Christians and burn stuff!

  Mike Nelson

No, Christians aren't really like that either. Neither is Tom Skerritt.


Crow angrily knocks off his witch hat.

  Crow T. Robot

Well now I am confused. What are we supposed to believe in?!


Mike Nelson  

Well most people believe in worshipping the being that gave them life, be it God or whatever...  Also, treating people who believe in something else with dignity and respect.


Tom Servo  

But Mike, you give us life. Well you and the power grid on deck 11.

  Mike Nelson

Oh well then, worship me. Uh oh, it's Jason and the Argonauts...


Pearl appears... still in the PVC suit, this time both Bobo and the Observer are chained up


Perl Forrester  

Personally I'd be happy if you all worshipped me. Well Nelson, you managed to get out of another experiment.  But when I finish with these two I'll dig around here for something else.  I am sure I have a Watchtower here somewhere!